| nothing seems worth it anymore. i don't know what to do to make myself feel better. i can cast all my burdens on jesus like i always do but then a week later, i'm so heavy again. nothing works. i've tried talking. i've tried writing. i've tried distancing myself from everyone so i don't kill the happy vibe. i've tried blasting avenged sevenfold going 65 with the windows rolled down in 50 degree weather. i've tried laughing and smiling. i've tried ignoring it. i just don't know what to do anymore.
the sad part? i finally got out of mcdonalds and i'm even more stressed and unhappy than i was before. like i thought changing my whole life around would do some good... apparently i was wrong.
i had such a good night last night. i should have known that meant i was gonna crash and burn today.
i dread going to work tomorrow. i hate every aspect of it...
please lord let it get better.
just fix it, please. |
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| silly me, look what i did again.
i found that what i want is what i cannot have
i didn't mean to be so predictable
but i blame it all on who made you irresistable
and it isn't something i need
till you tell me i can't
why wear my heart on my sleeve
when it looks so good in your hands?
my heart breaks in a heart beat
and you storm me when you come and go
taste of something so sweet should have
warned me about the undertow.
i couldn't find a better man to let me go.
little girl, i don't know why you stay.
if i had a feather for every time
daddy said that i could fly away
cause old habits are so hard to break
it'd be a shame to stop
now that i've started to make really good mistakes.
and i don't know why i must ask
for the forbidden fruit.
i saw a snake in the grass,
but i had bitten too soon.
my heart breaks in a heart beat
and you storm me when you come and go.
the taste of something so sweet
should have warned me about the undertow.
i couldn't find a better man to let me go.
i should have seen you coming in,
should recognize the signs a wave's gonna break.
now, given in, why fight it when
i'm resigned to simply live in your wake
my heart breaks in a heart beat
and you storm me when you come and go.
the taste of something so sweet
should have warned me about the undertow.
i couldn't find a better man to let me go |
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| i don't wanna be her,
i just wanna be little old me. |
| |
| i'm so excited.
christmas is gonna be great this year. i bought four things for each of my brothers, four things for each of my parents... plus i got kelly and alex something and i'm buying for katie and jess and the kids when we do our christmas on january 25th. :] i'm so happy i could afford to buy this year. i bought for my family last year but it wasn't much. this year i went all out on my family. it worked out well. i even found stuff for my dad that i know he will like... i don't have to worry about if he likes it or not.
i'm also really glad i don't have to worry about fitting a guy into my holiday schedule. i'm all about family this year. and voices, but only because the majority of my close friends are in there and it's mandatory. lol. but i keep hearing people complain about how they're gonna be SO BUSY because they have their family christmas, extended family christmas, friend christmas, plus christmas for their s.o.'s family and extended family. good luck with that. :p
other than christmas morning and extended family festivities on christmas eve, i really just have to worry about church on christmas eve, getting my great aunt from the airport on the 23rd, and voices stuff. we have a performance at like 7 in the morning on the 21st and then a practice on january 15th so we can perform at the MLK banquet on the 16th. other than that... i'm not doing ANYTHING over christmas break. i'm excited. :]
so yeah. that's my little holiday update.
:]
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| all i know is that you're so nice
you're the nicest thing i've seen
i wish that we could give it a go
see if we could be something
i wish i was your favorite girl
i wish you thought i was the reason you were in the world
i wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile
i wish the way i dress was your favorite kind of style.
i wish you couldn't figure me out
but you'd always wanna know what i was about
i wish you'd hold my hand when iw as upset
i wish you'd never forget
the look on my face when we first met
i wish you had a favorite beauty spot
that you loved secretly cause it was
on a hidden bit that nobody else could see
basically
i wish that you loved me
i wish that you needed me
i wish that you knew when i said two sugars,
actually i meant three
i wish that without me your heart would break
i wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
i wish that without me you couldn't eat
i wish i was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep
look,
all i know is that you're the nicest thing i've ever seen
and i wish that we could see if we could be something
i wish that we could see if we could be something |
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